Yesterday I was having a super emotional day, even having a couple of cries over very minor things. It was probably due to the fact I haven't had a good sleep for around two weeks now, but I felt really silly when one of my friends at work asked if I was okay and I just started crying.
Yesterday at work we received some really sad news about a former colleague who had passed away unexpectedly on the weekend. He was only 42. And although obviously the problems in my life are very minor in comparison to that kind of thing, I guess it got me reflecting on things and feeling sorry for myself as a result.
I also learned yesterday that I didn't get an interview for a position I'd applied for recently in the communications sector, so I started wondering why I am bothering killing myself with these crazy early morning starts, super long days, minimal sleep and no life outside of work and study when it seems obvious to me this dream of having a job where I can write and be creative is never going to happen. Realistically, I can't afford to take a pay cut, and yet that's what I'll have to do to get an entry-level position. Roles at my current pay level require years worth of experience, so I'm never going to win one of those. So it's never going to happen. So why do I keep accumulating this student loan debt? I only have one more year to go but I can't help but feel it'll all be for nought.
And then it's the usual family stuff of course. Today is my Mum's birthday, and all I can do is worry about what our weekend family lunch will bring. And still no signs of pregnancy being any closer...
Sorry for the mopey post. Just my mood lately.
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