So, readers of my blog who don't personally know me are probably wondering why I haven't posted for a while. Late last year, one of my good friends who writes her own blog called thecookingchook nominated me for the Very Inspiring Blogger Award. Shortly after that, my personal life became a shambles, and so I am feeling like the least inspiring person I know right now.
Obviously I will not publicly go into details, but my husband and I are currently going through a separation, so we are both all over the shop right now. I was the instigator, I was to blame, and although it's been almost 4 weeks since I ruined his life I am still struggling to cope with the guilt, inability to forgive myself, and the grieving for what has been lost. It is difficult to walk away from the marriage and shared hopes and dreams, but it's something I need to learn to do. I regret that I didn't handle situations that came up a long time ago better, obviously. When I accepted his proposal obviously it was not my intention that we go down this path when only married less than two years. But I am trying to remain hopeful that this doesn't mean the end of my life goals to be happy and to have a family. I need to believe that I can still achieve those and find my true happiness.
Without knowing the details, I would still say that you shouldn't blame yourself too much. Depending on circumstances, I guess guilt and grief can't be avoided, but still.
ReplyDeleteBlame is such a harsh word! I don't know what happened. But what I do know for sure is that you have a lot of great qualities regardless.
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